You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
