And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
