She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
