She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
