Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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