Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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