How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
