whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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