You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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