the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
