Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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