This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
