Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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