3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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