A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
