can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
