um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
