yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
