What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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