Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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