we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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