I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
