its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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