So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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