guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
