apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
