i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
