id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
