I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
