Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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