So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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