lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
