I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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