As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
