I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
