I think I died a long time ago.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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