but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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