the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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