He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
