Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think my moral compass just broke
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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