Welp...herpes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
