I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You pole danced in your parka.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
