I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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