we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
