She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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