this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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