She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
