don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
