Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
