my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
